The Journal of Michael Merriam

I have been reading the critiques and suggestions made my by first readers, highlighter in hand, and making notes about their thoughts and ideas. I've gone over everyone's notes except careswen's and I will read those after lunch.

This rewrite is going to be a daunting task. I am actually unsure of where or how to begin, but I will start rewriting after I've digested the critiques. The thing is, my first readers are all brilliant people and they've almost overwhelmed me with ideas, suggestions, insights, and other goodness.

Not that I'm complaining.

I will say this: it is a good thing I cut my teeth working on the OWW for years and years, because if I was handed this much red ink and marking up and poking of the manuscript without the kind of experience receiving critiques I gained from the OWW, I would likely be a big old puddle of sad oozing into the carpet. I would think I was the worst writer EVAH and should get a job digging ditches in the artic with a spork, because that all I'm good for.

Which is not to say my first readers where brutal. No, they where spot on. They clearly pointed out the flaws and problems of the novel. They also offered some excellent advice on how to fix those things. Despite all the scribbling and marking and such, the consensus is that the Phantom Streetcar Novel is very nearly publishable (after a good copy edit) even in this draft stage. Right now it is a "good" book, but it can be so much more than "good" with some serious work.

This makes me happy.

Even if I am a bit daunted by the task ahead.

There are a few things I've noticed and noted already, such as:

The book starts in the wrong place. Everyone who had read it agrees this is so.
I need to give the reader more of Mae's personal story earlier in the book.
I need to punch up Mae and Jill's romance.
I use too many speech attributes.
The villains need more screen time to make them real.
There are at least two sub-plots that can go away.
I can probably cut about 20,000 words, giving me room for an antagonist's POV.
I have three major coincidences. I'm only allowed one.
I need about twice as many sensory and grounding details as I have so far.
I need to clearly explain how the streetcars work.
The last few scenes are a muddle.
There are still too many minor characters. I need to roll some of them together.
I need to spend some quality time with Strunk and White.

Well, lunch time is over. I need to get back to work.

Oh. Yes, I have the new Harry Potter book. It is sitting unopened on my table. I'm too busy working to read at the moment.