The Journal of Michael Merriam

It has been one year since we had to let you go, one year since we said good-bye and let you rest after your long struggle with diabetics and kidney disease.

I thought I was ready to write a post about you and your life, about how much you meant to your humans, but I cannot. I just cannot write around the ache I still feel in my heart.

So instead, as I hold Belyn close and he purrs in an attempt to console his obviously sad human, I will simply say that I still miss you.


Originally posted at michaelmerriam.net. You can comment here or there.

My Aunt F passed away last night. This comes as no surprise to me or anyone else in the family. She has been terribly sick for a number of years and incredibly frail for about the last year or two. We all knew it was coming soon. I will miss her and I am sad at her passing, though relieved that she is no longer in so much pain. My main concern now is for the living: my uncle, my nieces, nephews, and her grandchildren.

I will remember her as a kind and mild woman who had a great passion for her family, who raised and presided over a large brood of children and grandchildren, who hung on to life tooth-and-nail to see her grandchildren born and growing up.

By all the measures of life that were important to her—-husband, children, siblings, extended family, church family, and kindness toward others-—her life was full and rich: a thing to be celebrated.

I sent out my 300^th submission yesterday.  It seems like so -- few -- for five years of working at this writing thing.   Still no SFWA/HWA pro sale either.   I guess there's nothing to do but forge ahead.  I'm at one of those nadirs writers sometimes hit.  Hopefully I'll pull out of it soon.

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I haven't been working on Rija's Tale this week, instead I've turned my focus back on Dark Water Blues for awhile.  I gave it a continuity read this week, tweaked a few things.  I'm setting it aside again, and then I'll jump into tearing it apart and putting it back together in December.   I think it's nearly good enough to sell right now, but I can see where it still needs work.

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A friend of mine, not_han_solo , passed away recently.  I realized I've been out of sorts since them.  We had drifted away in recent years, but were the same age, had a lot of the same interests.  He started my interest in fire-dancing, and made our fire-chains, we gamed together.  I'm having trouble believing he's really gone.

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This came in my inbox today (which is why this post is f-locked):

Hi Michael,

I'm Z, 18, from Washington.  I share your eye disease.  I was diagnosed at 14 and would like to know what to expect in the future with my eyes.  Blessing.

Thank you,

Z

Oh man, for few words, that is one big question.  Wish me luck as I try to answer.

Peace,
Michael

Has passed away. I don't have any details yet, but it has been reported at a couple of forums by people who worked with and knew Gary well.

I had the pleasure of meeting him a few years ago, when D&D 3rd Edition was about to come out. We talked about Old Basic D&D, 1st Ed, and in one memorable moment, we were both in the bathroom at urinals when Gary--one of the founding fathers of D&D and role-playing in general--asked me where I thought the game would go in the future.

He was a friendly, outgoing person in my limited experience, who loved the game and the hobby with a passion.

Thank you, sir, for the many hundreds of hours of entertainment and amusement your work has provided me over the last 30-odd years.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Gygax

I am finally caught up on Live Journal. I might not have commented on your post, but I read it.

We helped greykev move to the Twin Cities from Iowa this weekend. He is all nice and moved into his new place, though he doesn't have internet yet. I know I said it yesterday, but thank you everyone who came out to help with the move.

I see on LJ that Speculations had closed down, which is too bad, as it was a good resource for newer writers like me. I also read that Janet Kagen has passed away, which I find unacceptable in the extreme. Her short piece "What a Wizard Does" is one of my favorite short stories. She will be missed.

A magazine I had sold a story to has folded. I hate this. Once you find a home for a story, you shouldn't have to worry about it ever again.

February Stats
Submissions Made: 5
Sales: 1
Rejections: 3
Other: 1
Publications: 0
Crits Given: 0
Approx Word Count: 4814
Stories Circulating: 11

If I hadn't made that one sale, February would have been a complete disaster from a writing standpoint.

Other, smarter people have said all the things I might have:


Neil Gaiman: http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/2007/09/jim-rigney.html
Jeff VanderMeer: http://www.amazon.com/gp/blog/post/PLNKFNX455HHBS3Q
Gallycat: http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/authors/the_dragon_is_gone_robert_jordan_19482007_67130.asp
madrobins: http://madrobins.livejournal.com/154122.html
truepenny: http://truepenny.livejournal.com/541292.html
terrymcgarry: http://terrymcgarry.livejournal.com/164425.html
leighdb: http://leighdb.livejournal.com/153761.html
pameladean: http://pameladean.livejournal.com/103189.html
scott_lynch: http://scott-lynch.livejournal.com/232393.html
ccfinlay: http://ccfinlay.livejournal.com/102802.html
matociquala: http://matociquala.livejournal.com/1215515.html
grrm: http://grrm.livejournal.com/21250.html
casacorona: http://casacorona.livejournal.com/157025.html
neutronjockey: http://neutronjockey.livejournal.com/116717.html
slushmaster: http://slushmaster.livejournal.com/76016.html
papersky: http://papersky.livejournal.com/348754.html
greykev: http://greykev.livejournal.com/120021.html
And of course, the fine folks at Making Light: http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/009381.html

I think we should all be so lucky that, when we reach the end of our lives, the people who knew us best remember us with the words: "He was a good guy." (or gal, as the case may be).

In Peace
MSM

Edit: I will continue to add other people's thoughts as I come across them.

careswen explains it all here:

http://careswen.livejournal.com/126982.html

matociquala says everything I would want to say about Mr. Ford.

I can't believe I'm not going to see him at Minicon next year, that sly smile on his face, warning everyone that he's about to say something wicked funny in that smooth, droll, way he had of delivering a line.

We will miss you, Mr. Ford.

Sent one story out the door yesterday. I have another story ready to go, but need to change the title, as the original one no longer fits, which sometimes happens to me once I start really writing something and it takes on a life of its own. Poked at the ghost story a bit, then started reading over the nameless novel in preparation of starting the second half of the book.

I heard today that Andre Norton passed away last night. Her books were some of the first SF&F I found as a youngster, and while I can't say that they influenced me greatly, they did entertain me to no end. While her passing is a sad thing, she lived a very long, very productive life. She was loved and admired, and she entertained and influenced whole generations of SF&F fans and pros. You can't ask for more than that, I think.

We will be at the Boiled in Lead show tonight at First Avenue. I originally didn't want to go. I prefer to go to their yearly Cedar Cultural Center show, but minnehaha K has made reference to the fact that "There Have Been Rumors," and I'm curious. I'm not worried out going out in the impending "catastrophic blizzard" that everyone (well, okay, mostly the chicken littles in careswen's office) keeps whispering about in trembling, fearful voices. We don't let weather stops us.

In other news: Arby's is evil. No really. We had Arby's last night and it was A)godawfulnasty, and B)able to make both careswen and I sick to our stomachs this morning. Add to that a migraine last night, and I'm a little out of sorts today. I'm still a bit headachy today, so I've got the shades down and am in troglodyte mode. I need this to go away before tonight.

The Reverend Selena must have a headache too, because when I did have a light on, she had thrown one paw over her head, as if to block out the illumination. She looks all cute and cuddly on the bed. I think I'll go bug her now.

In Peace
Michael

I turned on the computer this morning to discover that Will Eisner had passed away.

matociquala said it right; some people should be exempt.

A Contract with God, A Signal from Space, and of course a character who was created before my parents were born, but who as a child I could not get enough of in re-prints, The Spirit.

All of us who work in the Speculative Fiction business, and I mean all of us, not just comic artist and writers, owe Will Eisner a deep debt. Besides being one of the, if not the, most innovative comic artist and writer of his time, he nurtured countless other talented individuals, individuals who gave us stories that fired our imaginations and made us want to tell stories, whether in plain words or with art.

Will Eisner passed away Monday, January 3rd, 2005, but Will Eisner will never die.

In Deep Peace
Michael